Pulling away

It's been four years since S last deployed but I distinctly remember in the weeks leading up to his departure a gradual pulling away from one another.  A defense mechanism perhaps but it's almost automatic and definitely not an overly conscious decision.  I wonder if our children will do this with him as well.  The three that we had when he left before were only 6, 4 and 2 and now with them being a good bit older I'm more worried about how they're going to deal with his absence.  My oldest is taking it pretty rough and personally I might add.

We've started tying up loose ends and putting into place measures to ensure that things run as smoothly as we are able to anticipate but I'm starting to get anxious and nervous.  I can't help but wonder if he's not secretly thrilled to be on an extended paid vacation.

Blog vir.gin...

So why why am I finally blogging?  That is the million dollar question...

I've been reading other blogs for years now and decided it was my turn to step up to the blogging plate.  I'm not even sure that anyone will come across this and read it but maybe as a journal it will help me to make it through the next fifteen months (or so).

My husband S is receiving orders in the next week for an IA to the middle east for the next year, to begin in the next few months.  No where particularly dangerous, mind you - frankly it's me that I'm worried about!  We've been married for 15 years and doing this Navy gig for as long.  S is a prior enlisted guy who was commissioned about 11 years ago and he hasn't deployed in the past four.  We have five children ranging from one to eleven (four boys and one girl, and no the girl is not the youngest!)  I love my children fiercely, what mom doesn't but they do exhaust me mentally and physically on a daily basis and I'm hoping I'll be able to come up with some stellar coping skills that don't include handcuffs (for them) or narcotics (for me!)

Let's see what happens....